“Hotwifing is about being turned on by seeing your partner being perceived as sexy and desirable by others, while cuckolding is about you being perceived as weak, unworthy, or less-than your partner and the person they’re having sex with,” she explains. “In hotwifing, you’re elevating the hot wife while in cuckolding, you’re lowering the cuck.”
O’Reilly’s theory as to why we don’t often hear about hot husbands is that “we live in a culture that values women for being physically attractive (usually according to specific patriarchal Eurocentric standards),” she explains. “Masculinity is tied to resources, and women are often treated as a resource. It follows that it can be affirming for men to know that their wife or partner is attractive to others. That’s not to say that those who enjoy hotwifing are doing it only for affirmation or to reinforce masculinity. And I certainly would not suggest that men who enjoy hot-wifing universally see their partners as a resource—many of these relationships are rooted in mutual care, love and respect; gender roles are deeply ingrained in our culture.”
Show each other the profiles of men that catch your eye and discuss what draws you to them. "This guy's cute – imagine if he took you out… what would you want to do with him?" This exercise lets the wife express what types of men interest her (tall and athletic? older and experienced? maybe a particular ethnicity or vibe she finds hot) and the husband can enjoy (or practice) the feeling of actively encouraging her attraction to others. It's flirting by proxy. You might find it surprisingly thrilling to swipe through dating profiles together with the shared secret that she could actually sleep with one of these men someday.
